


Youth Lost

by egosoffire



Series: Darkpilot Playlist Ficlets [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Confrontation, M/M, Past Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egosoffire/pseuds/egosoffire
Summary: A confrontation between Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren. Alludes to a past relationship.





	Youth Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Link to playlist is [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/kbruner313/playlist/0iBfbkz6QiQNfXuncFVHuk) This is entry #2 - Contagious - Night Riots

Kylo Ren had learned, years ago, how to keep his emotions in check during battle. He was a soldier, a knight, and he knew how to shove down the hurt and pain that had created his entire existence. Yet, the first time he had confronted Commander Poe Dameron in battle, he had been able to hide beneath a mask.

That mask was gone. Now, they were face to face for the first time in years. 

They were face to face for the first time in years and Poe’s first instinct was to punch him in the face. It was impressive, honestly, as few people truly managed to sneak up on him, his instincts honed to a fine point over the years. The blow to the face hurt, of course, but it also felt like he was being woken up.

“You know what I’m capable of,” Ren laughed, trying to present himself as clearly amused, even though the action had stunned him. “You know what I can do to you, and that’s your first line of attack?”

“I don’t care anymore.” The words came out and they were so broken that he paused. It wasn’t like he was unaware of the war, and the effect it had on those of both sides, but he’d never imagined he’d hear Poe -- his Poe, so broken. The man had always been the face of the Resistance, that spark of hope. “You can kill me, if you’d like. That wasn’t for you anyway.” 

“It wasn’t?”

“No.” Poe looked at him coldly, eyes distant. “That was for Ben. That was for the kid I fell madly in love with as soon as I realized what love was. That was for the man I was supposed to marry.” 

“You’re fighting for a dead man.” It was all Kylo could say, the words choked out of him. “You’re going to die for someone who no longer exists?”

“I guess so. You should go ahead and kill me.” 

He was right about that. It would be an incredible blow to the Resistance to lose a man who had always represented so much hope. If he killed him, it would be a great loss. Killing Poe Dameron was something that he could do in an instant. 

Yet, he hesitated. 

“What was it, Ben?” Poe growled, the words dangerous. It seemed that the pilot was goading him into a fight, a fight that would only lead to death. “What was it that stole you away from me? What did he have to offer you that meant so much?”

“He offered me a way to find myself,” he retaliated, even though he owed the piece of rebel scum before him nothing. “He offered me a way to find myself and I did, before he was no longer of use to me.” 

He was afraid, almost, that Dameron would be able to see the lie in his words. Snoke had manipulated him into seeing what he wanted to see, and then had destroyed him inside. 

Then again, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t Snoke’s fault, or his father’s, or anyone else’s. He was nobody’s fault.

“Go,” he whispered. “Go before someone comes.” 

There was no way that he could kill him now, and yet there was no way he could let him live if another saw. They both knew there was only one way out of this.

Luckily, the pilot wasn't nearly as suicidal as he initially seemed. He took a long look at the man before him and then he left. As he walked away, something inside Kylo Ren crumbled. He collapsed inward on himself and then retreated desperately to his ship. He was searching for reflections of something in the night, as he felt more surrounded, by himself, than he'd ever felt before. 


End file.
